Sipping my iced, syrup-like matcha in a crowded café in Phnom Penh, I realized my brain was working overtime, aging twice, maybe three times faster, just trying to stay focused. And yet, in the middle of all that mental noise, a quiet curiosity settled in, and I asked myself, “Where are the unspoken sanctuaries of our generation?”
You and I don’t have to guess; we already know. As young adults in this fast-paced, digital world, we seek something more than just home and work. We crave what’s known as the third place.
For many young adults, these third places are the cafés we keep returning to, the parks where we pause to catch our breath, or the quiet corners of a bookstore that feel strangely like home. We don’t go there out of obligation; we go to feel free, inspired, or simply human. In this post, I want to explore what these spaces mean to us, why they matter more than we think, and how they shape the way we grow, create, and connect.
For me, that used to be cafés. But lately, I find myself easily bored. I come to these places hoping to relax or write, but most days, I end up forcing myself to be productive, like right now, writing these thoughts with zero.
What Is a Third Place? (With a Personal Touch)
The concept of “Third Place” was coined by sociologist Ray Oldenburg to describe the spaces between home (the first place) and work (the second place). These are spaces where people gather casually, connect without obligation, and simply exist without pressure, think cafés, libraries, co-working spaces, public parks, beach or even the shaded spot under a tree by the riverside.
For me, I didn’t realize I had a third place until I found myself returning to the same quiet café in the middle of Phnom Penh every weekend afternoon, not to meet anyone, not to work, but just to sit, journal, sip something warm, and watch the world pass by. It wasn’t about the milk tea or coffee. It was about being somewhere I didn’t need to explain myself.
In a way, third places feel like pauses in our overstimulated lives, unstructured, soft spaces that allow us to reflect, observe, or quietly engage. As young adults navigating change, expectations, and ambitions, these places aren’t luxuries. They’re necessities.
Why Third Places Matter for Young Adults
Young adulthood is a season of becoming full of transitions, uncertainties, experiments, and quiet searches for meaning. We’re often caught between chasing careers, building relationships, and figuring out who we are. In the middle of all this, third places offer something rare: neutrality, comfort, and community.
Unlike home, where we may carry family responsibilities, or work, where performance matters, third places are judgment-free zones. They give us room to think, create, observe, or just be still. They’re where ideas are scribbled in notebooks, strangers become friends (sometimes), and routines momentarily fade away.
For young adults in Cambodia and everywhere else, these third places are more than escape hatches. They’re where identity quietly forms. They’re where belonging often begins.
Third Places in Cambodia: The Ones We Return To
Cambodia is changing, and with it, the way young adults gather and recharge. While “third place” might sound like a Western concept, the spirit of it has always existed here, just under different names and rhythms.
Take Phnom Penh, for example. With hundreds, if not thousands, of cafés popping up in every district, it’s clear this city has embraced the third place lifestyle, especially for students and young adults like me.
Just last week, it took me nearly two hours and four stops to find a coffee shop that wasn’t full. And now, I am at the Tube Coffee Camko City branch. I counted around 20-30 customers here, most of them several years younger than me, likely university students working on their assignments or gamers locked into their silent Mobile Legends battles. Everyone was plugged into something: screens, headphones, or conversations. Without a device, you almost feel out of place in these 21st-century third places.
And many, that’s the trade-off. Unlike the older generation’s third places, which were filled with conversation, laughter, and face-to-face interaction, today’s third places are more isolated. Everyone is together, yet apart. It’s a quiet room full of distant minds.
Still, there’s beauty in it. I found peace writing on my iPad at that very table, even as I barely glanced at my partner sitting next to me. We all seemed to be doing the same thing, seeking a moment of calm in the busyness of our day.
How Third Places Are Changing in a Fast-Moving World
Third places aren’t what they used to be, and maybe that’s okay. Today, they’re hybrid. Digital. Evolving.
They’re no longer just physical spots but mental sanctuaries. Some of us find them in a café; others find them in a playlist with headphones on, a yoga or Pilates class, a rooftop garden, or even a long solo ride/drive to the countryside, just like I did one week ago.
A cozy café with free Wi-Fi becomes both a creative workspace and a hangout. A library with art exhibitions and thousands of books becomes a weekend escape. Even our favorite corner at home, lit by soft light, filled with plants, and with a playlist, will start to feel like a self-made third place.
What matters isn’t the location; it’s the feeling. That breath of peace. That moment of stillness. That subtle return to yourself.
Find Your Place Between Places
I believe we all eventually discover our third place, whether we’re aware of it or not. It’s where we go to do our thing without explanation. For me, that place is wherever I can write. Wherever I can exist without pressure. A coffee shop, a quiet park, and a bookstore corner that feels like home.
Third places aren’t escapes; they’re mirrors. They reflect who we are when no one is watching and who we might become when we give ourselves space to simply be.
So go find your third place or return to it. The world can wait while you breathe, observe, create, or rest. And don’t forget to let me know as well where your favorite 3rd place is!
Until I see you again, bye!
Date: May 24, 2025
Finished Time: 4:30 PM
Location: Tube Coffee (Camko City)